A lot of people do kind things for their partners without reason, expectation or purpose other than love.  They need not always seek or receive credit, and they take care of those they love automatically without forethought.  While it may not seem a desirable quality to "toot one's own horn", sometimes it becomes necessary in relationships.

In a relationship, it is extremely important to show the other person we love and care about them in as many ways as we can.  With busy schedules and daily tasks often taking our attention, one or both partners can end up feeling neglected and forgotten about.  If we haven't heard a kind word from our partner in a while, it can hurt.  If we haven't seen a bouquet of flowers or a nice note in a some time, we can't help but notice the deficit. 

The problem can be further exacerbated when two partners are equally devoted to one another but have different love languages with which they communicate.  What one deems as showing care may not even register on the love radar scale of the other.  A woman who expects flowers or poetry and truly appreciates when her partner helps out by doing the dishes or making dinner might not understand that her partner feels he is caring for her by filling her car with gas and changing the oil.

Although the languages may be not be understood by both sides, we can meet in the middle by making an effort to explain the purpose behind our actions.  So many of us just "do" and expect our partner will recognize the motivation we are working with, but it's not always the case.  In order to bridge the gap, it sometimes becomes necessary to act as a translator.  It can be amusing - try imagining your partner as a refugee from another country.  You have to take care with your communication so they understand what's going on:


"I'm cooking you this wonderful dinner because I love you and this is my way of showing it. 

"I'm going to take your car to the mechanic tomorrow because I don't want you stranded on the side of the road."

"I'm taking out the garbage because I know you hate the smell in the house."

"I'm putting away your laundry for you because I know you have a lot on your mind, and I care about helping you."


It takes a little extra effort, but it is not complicated and may be the extra loving nudge needed to feel connected to our partners.