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Acceptance Part 6 Return to Self Study Page
By LifeAdviceSite.com
This course is also available as an MP3
Accepting Others
The
final step in the process of acceptance is in learning to accept those
around us. Once you've done the work learning how to accept and love
yourself despite faults, your perspective on life will begin to change
dramatically. The goal is to begin shifting that acceptance and the
loving nature outward from yourself to other people. It will be easier
to do once you've already had sufficient practice with yourself. From
yourself, you will move on to those closest in your life. As it
becomes second nature to you, it will spill out even onto those you do
not know.
Everyone
in your life has done you wrong in some way or another. Everyone has
habits you don't like and things they do that frustrate you. It may be
something hurtful or unpleasant, or it may be something you simply
don't understand and therefore have a hard time accepting.
Remember the point of this is to learn acceptance. The trouble with
human relationships is they are often one-sided. We see only what we
see. We can only feel what we feel, and we don't necessarily always
see the other person's side. When I walk into a store and hold the
door open for a stranger, I can only see if they smile and thank me or
if they blow past me without so much as a nod of gratitude. I may not
have been witness to the events preceding that interaction. Perhaps
moments before that person blew past me in a huff, they received a
troubling phone call or had an argument with a spouse and that was the
reason for the body language and attitude I then witnessed.
Alternatively, maybe nothing happened, and that person just grew up in
a house where parents did not teach good manners. Whatever the reason,
there is a reason. Rather than taking the "offense"
personally, I have to summon an outside perspective to understand there
is an underlying reason, accept it as a reflection of that person's
life rather than my own and then continue on with my day and my good
experiences.
My
loved ones all have things about them I do not like, and vice versa. I
still love them, and I know they love me even though neither one of us
is perfect. We can talk about what we feel and what we need from each
other, but some things just might not change in this lifetime. That
has to OK. We do our best, but we need to find a way to get along and
accept each other despite differences and struggles. I may not always
understand their perspective, but that is their experience just as my
perspective is my experience. We can stand next to each other on a
mountain top and look at the same view, but we'll each see it just a
little differently.
When I came to a place where I was secure with
myself and learning how to work through my inadequacies and
shortcomings, I found I began to see others' inadequacies more
clearly. Although one might conjecture that such an experience would
have made me more critical of other people and their shortcomings, the
opposite occurred. As I came to understand my own failings, I began to
understand others' as well. With new eyes I could see we are all
imperfect, beautiful works in progress. It might take me 50 years to
learn something my best friend learned in 10 years, but that's OK. I
got it. She got it. You'll get it too. That's what we're all here
for. Life is about learning, accepting, changing and growing. When we
come to a place of acceptance, we are able to live more freely in every
way. We're better equipped to forgive and forget. We recognize every
moment need not be perfect, and even if there are bumps along the way
it doesn't matter as long as we get there safely.
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about. It's your life - live the best one possible every day! |
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