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Acceptance Part 6        Return to Self Study Page    
By LifeAdviceSite.com
This course is also available as an MP3

Accepting Others

The final step in the process of acceptance is in learning to accept those around us.  Once you've done the work learning how to accept and love yourself despite faults, your perspective on life will begin to change dramatically.  The goal is to begin shifting that acceptance and the loving nature outward from yourself to other people.  It will be easier to do once you've already had sufficient practice with yourself.  From yourself, you will move on to those closest in your life.  As it becomes second nature to you, it will spill out even onto those you do not know.
 
Everyone in your life has done you wrong in some way or another.  Everyone has habits you don't like and things they do that frustrate you.  It may be something hurtful or unpleasant, or it may be something you simply don't understand and therefore have a hard time accepting.  Remember the point of this is to learn acceptance.  The trouble with human relationships is they are often one-sided.  We see only what we see.  We can only feel what we feel, and we don't necessarily always see the other person's side.  When I walk into a store and hold the door open for a stranger, I can only see if they smile and thank me or if they blow past me without so much as a nod of gratitude.  I may not have been witness to the events preceding that interaction.  Perhaps moments before that person blew past me in a huff, they received a troubling phone call or had an argument with a spouse and that was the reason for the body language and attitude I then witnessed.  Alternatively, maybe nothing happened, and that person just grew up in a house where parents did not teach good manners.  Whatever the reason, there is a reason.  Rather than taking the "offense" personally, I have to summon an outside perspective to understand there is an underlying reason, accept it as a reflection of that person's life rather than my own and then continue on with my day and my good experiences. 

My loved ones all have things about them I do not like, and vice versa.  I still love them, and I know they love me even though neither one of us is perfect.  We can talk about what we feel and what we need from each other, but some things just might not change in this lifetime.  That has to OK.  We do our best, but we need to find a way to get along and accept each other despite differences and struggles.  I may not always understand their perspective, but that is their experience just as my perspective is my experience.  We can stand next to each other on a mountain top and look at the same view, but we'll each see it just a little differently. 

When I came to a place where I was secure with myself and learning how to work through my inadequacies and shortcomings, I found I began to see others' inadequacies more clearly.  Although one might conjecture that such an experience would have made me more critical of other people and their shortcomings, the opposite occurred.  As I came to understand my own failings, I began to understand others' as well.  With new eyes I could see we are all imperfect, beautiful works in progress.  It might take me 50 years to learn something my best friend learned in 10 years, but that's OK.  I got it.  She got it.  You'll get it too.  That's what we're all here for.  Life is about learning, accepting, changing and growing.  When we come to a place of acceptance, we are able to live more freely in every way.  We're better equipped to forgive and forget.  We recognize every moment need not be perfect, and even if there are bumps along the way it doesn't matter as long as we get there safely.


 


 
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